The Upper Hand

I always thought relationships were all about having an equal base, a middle that you could meet at. Obviously I am really naive because, you never meet in the middle, one person always is a little more dominant then the other.

When I say relationships, I don't just mean a relationship shared by two mates. It could be a friendship between two people or a bunch of colleagues at work. There is always a leader and a follower. Sometimes you have two dominant personalities and there is a fight and there is always one that is victorious. A harmonious settlement is highly unlikely, the victorious one is the one who learns how to make the other person do what they want.Why do I say this? It is from my experience with all my relationships and others I have observed. The subservient person learns how to follow unknowingly and at times with manipulation.

Recently a friend told me she felt like she was always going out of her way to accommodate a boy she liked.She had her reasons for doing it but the guy obviously was the victorious one who had learnt how to manipulate her to do his bidding and not in a bad way. I have friends and family who I do not want to name but they do not have a mind of their own and so are very malleable to ideas from others. A lot of people play with their minds and convince them of things that sometimes do not even make sense.

I am one of those people who like to lead so I know how the battle goes. There are so many times when you just let the other person arrive at the same solution you have been thinking about all along and they will assume it is theirs. I am slowly learning how to perfect this strategy. It is all about gentle persuasion.I do not think it is a sign of manipulation at all by having the upper hand because all you are doing is explaining with simple logic your solution. If the other person follows then either you are correct or they are stupid or you are just extremely smart and can fool anyone.