Old Friends

Met some of my friends from undergrad last weekend. It was a blast but it was weird because I realised I don't fit in it all. I was always different when I was in college, coming from South Bombay, always talking English and one of the boys. But now it feels worse. All of them are married and are talking houses and settling down and  some are actually talking babies and on the other hand I have no clue what I am doing with my life. I am planning to leave everything stable and go to business school and try and find a new life.

The girls were actually talking on how to control their husbands or how to make them do things and it got me wondering, because even though I have been in relationships, I have never thought of doing that. I always believe in the live and let live and maybe we will fight about some things but doubt I could manipulate someone to do something for me. Most of the times I have to just ask and things get done but I was told, that is because I am single and guys fall over themselves to do things for single people. And one of them actually tried to convince me that marriage was important to anyones life, sounded like my mom. I have nothing against the institution of marriage and would love to have a companion to come back to but it is just that I have not met the right person and I don't think I need to be married to be complete. I am my own person.

I thought I was getting old because sometimes I am exhausted after partying two days in a row but these friends of mine, all they wanted to do was sit at home. Well some of them did go out with me, like to the beach or park but it was different. I think marriage just makes my friends want to sit at home and chit chat.And most of them did not want to go out somewhere to drink, where there was no loud noise. Tell me where exactly would you find such a place on saturday night but home? 

And to add to that, some of them actually asked me why people drink and what fun they get out of it. Now I understand they don't drink but then they started talking about why people would drink excessively and make a fool out of themselves and talk rubbish. This I think was prompted by my actions the night before where I danced with a couple of random boys in the bar and talked about my previous relationships or lets just say liasons with some of the friends. I don't really see what is wrong with either of the actions  because what I did or said wasI because I wanted to but these friends thought I was doing something wrong. It was so embarrasing when they started whistling and clapping when I danced with one guy and then wanted to take pictures everytime I danced with another. For crying out loud, I am single, how else am I going to have fun but flirt with single boys and this one was pretty cute even though he was wasted.  It is a good thing I did not make out with him or I think some of them would have been completely scandalized.

There is so much that made me feel I don't fit  in. My friends believe I am americanized, not really.Just because I walk the talk and don't try to emphasize my nationality by being more Indian then necessary, it does not make me less of an Indian. There are some other undergrad friends I hang out with who will probably get what I am doing and most likely not judge me, I hope or they just don't care and let you do whatever but the rest of them have a scale and they sort of look down on the ones who do not fit that criteria. I know these are my friends but sometimes they just need to loosen up and maybe I should stop thinking so much because after they are what they have always been. I am just a lot different.