Body Image

 I was always the fat kid or so I was convinced because everyone called me fat. At that point it was like everything left me unfazed like water rolling over a duck's back. I was impervious or so I thought...

Over the years body image has created havoc to the self confidence. I have questioned how a man perceives me, how I look at myself when I get on stage and how I hide from society and wear baggy clothes because I am too scared to be called names or be judged. You are told time and again that a person is not defined by their physical attributes and whats underneath is what matters but tell that to the subconscious that is constantly evaluating the face and turning off the camera because it looks to pudgy. 

When do you reach a point in life that you are ok with how you look. I have learnt to fake it so the world sees confidence no matter what but inside me there is a nervous teenager who still hates the idea of being called a fat kid. The body image issue just does not seem to go away, no matter how much therapy you get. And my body well since it swings up and down the weighing scale so often, will always carry those image issues around.