Being Me

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. ~Andre Gide

I agree with that a 110% but sometimes I wonder if it is works in this real, materialistic world. I am me and people applaud me for that by telling me I am probably the only girl who is real or that I keep them grounded by being so real. The truth, they think I am cool and hardcore but do they really want to hang out with this loud spoken, cynical , sports talking, cursing girl...probably not.I would not want to hang out with me because sometimes I am mean and out of control. 

So what do I do, curb the me and become one of the nice, polished, soft spoken girls. I can do that, it is not that difficult. I received a lot of training to say my P's and Q's right. Would people like me more then, who knows ? I don't. I remember a cousin of mine tell me once, they don't care to know you, they just want to know all the good things about you so keep the real you hidden. Obviously I being the rebel did no such thing and so here I am at one of the best business schools in the world, loud, mean and sarcastic to the nth degree. with not a care in the world. I wonder every night, what should I be and then I convince myself that I cannot be anything else because I would slip in a second and then it would be worse. I am just not one of those pretty girls in nice dresses who talks politely. I am the jean clad, steel mill engineer who curses and swear. And to the world FUCK YOU because if you don't like me as I am, then I don't care to be with you.